We once again must decline your request that we retask our Deep Ocean Survey team to locate the Tiki head you lost following the party on Alcatraz Island.

Yes, as you say we “found the fucking Titanic” but despite your insistence that you “know exactly where” this Tiki head is, San Francisco Bay’s expanse and heavy tidal action would make a search, even for something we would actually consider worthwhile, rather difficult.

Please stop asking.