FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Astroport Taps Erlich Bachman for SVP Public Relations/Chief Evangelism Officer Position
Palo Alto, California—To manage its increasing media profile caused by its rapid growth, pioneering compression firm Astroport today announced it has hired veteran Valley entrepreneur Erlich Bachman to head up its public relations department, according to Erlich Bachman, Astroport’s SVP Public Relations.
Bachman, in his 30s but appearing years younger, launched Astroport at his Palo Alto incubator and was its first investor. He is no longer an investor; this might conceivably constitute a conflict of interest. No causality should be inferred from the proximity of the previous sentence’s two clauses.
“In the age of digital media, it is more important than ever to have a steady hand at the tiller when navigating the oft-treacherous waters of the press and public opinion,” said Bachman, rolling emails al fresco at his Newell Street hub of operations.. “As the compression space becomes more frothy, I intend to make sure everyone remembers who whipped up that froth: us.”
Successfully luring Mr. Bachman into Astroport’s employ, given the great demand for his services, is widely regarded as a coup, a second feather in Astroport’s cap, and a sign that the company’s well-documented stumbles are a thing of the past.
Erlich Bachman graduated from Hampshire College with honor.
Contact:
Erlich Bachman
Astroport
Newell Road
Palo Alto, CA 94303
These United States
astroport.com
Erlich,
Congrats on the position. Please keep us informed of all upcoming news about Astroport and your Incubator.
Also where can I get a Jacket?
I am very happy you got your position in the company! Tell Richard to give you some more shares and Dinesh and Gilfoil to admit their bff status.
Sam
Nice web site and let me buy some shares or at least one of those fine jackets – Thanks
jf+mk
<3
Frankly (http://goo.gl/syKOrP), that logo makes me puke. I’d like you guys to go back to your old, phallic, self. Erlich, come on dude, you know what I mean amigo.
al fresco 😀
Special Occasion
Careful Bach…ships sink in froth. True that.
Hey Brobro,
Do you guys need any help with the ui, cause gui all over your mom’s face,
That’s right Bro!
Seriously, bro, I can hook you up.
I hate Richard Hendricks!
“You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado with a pony tail”
You are my new God.
I believe in the Bachmannity.
Mr. Bachman I don’t know who you are but you need to get your Google listings fixed. Whenever people Google my name they get directed to one of your profanity-filled web pages and are exposed to your juvenile musings on ejaculate and male genitalia. This is hurting my reputation and personal relationships. Please take some time away from smoking cannabis and pondering penises and get this fixed. I am not joking!
Erlich your phone keeps saying my number is blocked. I just got a reimbursement check from the accounting firm for 6 million but the ATM auto-deposit says it can’t accept it.
I can drop by and leave it on the windshield of your car if you’re tied up.
so good
soys unos frikis
Your shenanigans inspire me! I need to see Erlich in a more athoratative role though. The business seems to do better when he does the opposite of what’s logical and ethical. More froth please!
Maybe Gavin could be your new CEO.
Hooli sux.xyz
The thumb’s up was gratuitous, agreed.
ERLICH … Ha …guess it’s me who is smoking too much weed.
Eric , you are smoking way to much weed to have sold all of your shares for ameasley 780k . How …..why …..come in man….did anyone at least offer you a jacket ?
Gylfoyle is superior to Dinesh.
Erlich. My man. Support.
Why don’t you have any brothers on the wall?
Erlich,
Your a serindipical genius with an aptitude for circumventing disasters of your own making. Congratulations on your new position and may you lead Piedpiper into an era of prosperity and good fortune.
I would like to invite you to a new start up where we could really use the talents you offer. Tampa Bay weed inc is looking for a new person to take us to to the next level. Can we talk about this?
Hey Erlich, you are a pisser and make me laugh with your convoluted language. Congratulation on your new job and I sure hope somehow you get a few shares back in the deal. You should be rewarded for your loyalty.
Jak ściągnąć Pied Piepera?
I wanna have a poster in our office with Elrich walking in a green field with the caption “Of course, we live in a society”
yo
Ahh welcome gentlemen its time to suckcle todays teat..
Errich Backman, I ate your last Fage yogurt…and you out of little spoons!
Haven’t you ever heard about Meinertzhagen Haversack?
Hey Erlich, can you tell Richard I called?
There is a linear correlation between how intolerable Erlich Blockmann was and the valuation!
You eat the fish!
This is a spetial moment. I need to smoke.