Welcome (Back!) Erlich Bachman!
Even the best of friends sometimes turn the worst of enemies: Mailer and Roth, Richards and Jagger, Christ and Judas. In each of these examples—besides my perhaps unfortunate choice of the last one—bygones were allowed to be bygones, water flowed under bridges, and harmony was restored. And so it comes to pass that despite their recent contretemps, our doughty CEO Richard Hendricks has brought a new (old?) Piper on board as our new Head of PR.
And who better to manage the public image of our company, to play the tech press like a Gypsy violin, than our charismatic Barnum, our Rasputin, our David Koresh (in a good way) of the Hacker Hostel, Erlich Casimir Bachman!
Yes, recent unfortunate financial reversals may have cost Erlich his 10 percent ownership stake in Astroport. Yet, it is clear Astroport continues to hold 100 percent ownership of his large, warm heart.**
(**This is not meant to imply that Erlich in any way suffers from an enlarged heart, or in fact any cardiac disorder, but rather that his loyalty to PP is not in doubt.)
Erlich,
I lost your email and your phone has been shut off. I tried BROing you in Dinesh’s Cousin’s app but have not been BROed back. If you’re reading this (which we all know you are), I would like to offer you your former Astroport title and position at http://www.conexticon.com. If this is of interest to you, have your people contact my people. I am willing to offer ownership shares and unlimited coconut water.
Good day sir.
booooooo Blachman did not suffer enough, sorcerer of douchebaggery!
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I just sold my stake in LinkedIn. It went — well.
Everybody else was busy investing in teriyaki souce — hm. [giggle]
Monica will visit me on my island for a deal proposal? Hope it won’t be — annoying.
So back to the begining
Dear Ehrlich,
Where did you get that pipe from?
Thanks in advance.
Haha!
Is your refrigerator running?
Lmao
Hey Bachman, we have your Tiki Head. If you want it back in one piece, it will cost you $20,000 in cash, unmarked bills, varying denominations. And a pied piper jacket, size XL. Wait for instructions; we know where to find you…
Not so smart but a good friend
Blachman is a dolt.
This — person — sold his shares for some — 700,000 — dolaarrs?
Ahhhgggggchchchrrrrrrr!
You eat the fish
Congrats on the new role Erlich!
Is your refrigerator running?
Congratz Erlich,
I’ve always said you’re like an average pitcher on LSD. Keep throwing strikes!
Good Luck Buddy
John J Padden
YOU SELL OUT
Erlich Blachman!
Well Bachman, now that it seems you’ll once again be putting a few coins in your pocket, you might also take regard of that nasty looking pipe of yours too, and become a tidy piper….
I want to see a copy of Erlichs tell all.
Way to go dude!
This is awesome! You guys need to put the compression software into manufacturing systems to speed up machines loading times and decrease used memory.
When will the Jackets be available? Need some Astroport swag!
Great job on retaining mr. Bachman, and excellent job on your compression ratings!
So entertaining…..
Fucking love this. #thisGuYfucks
XD