Where to begin? Lewis Carroll famously said, “Begin at the beginning, go on to the end, and then stop.” But that is hard advice to follow when one’s head is spinning, when one knows not if he (or she!) is coming or going, as I am hard pressed to say myself. And, of course, when the speaker had extremely problematic relationships with female minors, as did Carroll. (Yes, it was “another time,” but still.)

First off, I could begin by writing that it seems we are now…a video-chat company, on the order of Skype! Since our broad-based platform proved too intricate for a mass audience, we have pivoted to a new product, a crystal-clear communication app Dinesh hacked together with Richard’s algorithm and the peer-to-peer network our ex-employee Carla coded in embryonic form, and Gilfoyle built out.

Secondly, we have been purchased by Bachmanity, Erlich and Big Head’s joint venture! Although a vigorous discussion of revising the cap table is now underway—believe you me—great thanksgiving should be made to Erlich and Big Head for this acquisition. Because, the bid they beat belonged to none other than Gavin Belson, who no doubt would have folded Astroport’s IP into an update of HooliOffice or something, and in this way all we worked for would have been lost.

What lies ahead for Astroport? Who can say? But I, for one, cannot wait to find out!