astroport/www/LOVELand/A/jared-thy-name-is-vanity/index.html

315 lines
22 KiB
HTML
Raw Blame History

This file contains ambiguous Unicode characters

This file contains Unicode characters that might be confused with other characters. If you think that this is intentional, you can safely ignore this warning. Use the Escape button to reveal them.

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<!-- Mirrored from astroport.com/jared-thy-name-is-vanity/ by HTTrack Website Copier/3.x [XR&CO'2014], Sat, 23 Nov 2019 17:51:41 GMT -->
<!-- Added by HTTrack --><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /><!-- /Added by HTTrack -->
<head>
<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Astroport &raquo; Jared, Thy Name Is Vanity Comments Feed" href="feed/index.html" />
<script type="text/javascript">
window._wpemojiSettings = {"baseUrl":"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/72x72\/","ext":".png","source":{"concatemoji":"http:\/\/astroport.com\/wp\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-emoji-release.min.js?ver=4.5.2"}};
!function(a,b,c){function d(a){var c,d,e,f=b.createElement("canvas"),g=f.getContext&&f.getContext("2d"),h=String.fromCharCode;if(!g||!g.fillText)return!1;switch(g.textBaseline="top",g.font="600 32px Arial",a){case"flag":return g.fillText(h(55356,56806,55356,56826),0,0),f.toDataURL().length>3e3;case"diversity":return g.fillText(h(55356,57221),0,0),c=g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data,d=c[0]+","+c[1]+","+c[2]+","+c[3],g.fillText(h(55356,57221,55356,57343),0,0),c=g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data,e=c[0]+","+c[1]+","+c[2]+","+c[3],d!==e;case"simple":return g.fillText(h(55357,56835),0,0),0!==g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data[0];case"unicode8":return g.fillText(h(55356,57135),0,0),0!==g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data[0]}return!1}function e(a){var c=b.createElement("script");c.src=a,c.type="text/javascript",b.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(c)}var f,g,h,i;for(i=Array("simple","flag","unicode8","diversity"),c.supports={everything:!0,everythingExceptFlag:!0},h=0;h<i.length;h++)c.supports[i[h]]=d(i[h]),c.supports.everything=c.supports.everything&&c.supports[i[h]],"flag"!==i[h]&&(c.supports.everythingExceptFlag=c.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&c.supports[i[h]]);c.supports.everythingExceptFlag=c.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&!c.supports.flag,c.DOMReady=!1,c.readyCallback=function(){c.DOMReady=!0},c.supports.everything||(g=function(){c.readyCallback()},b.addEventListener?(b.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",g,!1),a.addEventListener("load",g,!1)):(a.attachEvent("onload",g),b.attachEvent("onreadystatechange",function(){"complete"===b.readyState&&c.readyCallback()})),f=c.source||{},f.concatemoji?e(f.concatemoji):f.wpemoji&&f.twemoji&&(e(f.twemoji),e(f.wpemoji)))}(window,document,window._wpemojiSettings);
</script>
<style type="text/css">
img.wp-smiley,
img.emoji {
display: inline !important;
border: none !important;
box-shadow: none !important;
height: 1em !important;
width: 1em !important;
margin: 0 .07em !important;
vertical-align: -0.1em !important;
background: none !important;
padding: 0 !important;
}
</style>
<link rel='stylesheet' id='main-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/style3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='fonts-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/fonts3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='header-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/header3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='footer-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/footer3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='home-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/home3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='post-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/post3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='stylesheet' id='our-developers-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/our-developers3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
<link rel='https://api.w.org/' href='../wp-json/index.html' />
<link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" title="RSD" href="../wp/xmlrpc0db0.php?rsd" />
<link rel="wlwmanifest" type="application/wlwmanifest+xml" href="../wp/wp-includes/wlwmanifest.xml" />
<link rel='prev' title='The Mole' href='../the-mole/index.html' />
<link rel='next' title='For Fiona' href='../for-fiona/index.html' />
<meta name="generator" content="WordPress 4.5.2" />
<link rel="canonical" href="index.html" />
<link rel='shortlink' href='../indexc30e.html?p=1083' />
<link rel="alternate" type="application/json+oembed" href="../wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed6847.json?url=http%3A%2F%2Fastroport.com%2Fjared-thy-name-is-vanity%2F" />
<link rel="alternate" type="text/xml+oembed" href="../wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed5f5d?url=http%3A%2F%2Fastroport.com%2Fjared-thy-name-is-vanity%2F&amp;format=xml" />
<script type="text/javascript" src="../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/si_captcha831d.js?ver=1574531140"></script>
<!-- begin SI CAPTCHA Anti-Spam - login/register form style -->
<style type="text/css">
.si_captcha_small { width:175px; height:45px; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; }
.si_captcha_large { width:250px; height:60px; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; }
img#si_image_com { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_reg { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_log { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_side_login { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_checkout { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_jetpack { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
img#si_image_bbpress_topic { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
.si_captcha_refresh { border-style:none; margin:0; vertical-align:bottom; }
div#si_captcha_input { display:block; padding-top:15px; padding-bottom:5px; }
label#si_captcha_code_label { margin:0; }
input#si_captcha_code_input { width:65px; }
p#si_captcha_code { clear: left; padding-top:10px; }
.si-captcha-jetpack-error { color:#DC3232; }
</style>
<!-- end SI CAPTCHA Anti-Spam - login/register form style -->
<link rel="icon" href="../Alogo.png" sizes="32x32" />
<link rel="icon" href="../Alogo.png" sizes="192x192" />
<link rel="apple-touch-icon-precomposed" href="../Alogo.png" />
<meta name="msapplication-TileImage" content="../Alogo.png" />
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="ie=edge">
<title>Astroport</title>
<link rel="icon"
type="image/ico"
href="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/pp-fav.ico">
</head>
<body class="single single-post postid-1083 single-format-standard">
<header class="main-header">
<div class="navigation-container">
<div class="main-logo">
<a href="../index.html">
<img class="logo_image" src="../images/astrologo.png" alt="Main Logo">
<img class="logo_mobile" src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/logo_mobile.png" alt="Main Logo">
</a>
</div>
<div class="main-navigation">
<div class="menu-siliconvalley-s6-container"><ul id="menu-siliconvalley-s6" class="menu"><li id="menu-item-1260" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-1260"><a href="../index.html">Commencez</a></li>
<li id="menu-item-1261" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-1261"><a href="../our-developers/index.html">La transition</a></li>
<li id="menu-item-1262" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-1262"><a href="../company-news/index.html">Maintenant</a></li>
</ul></div> </div>
</div>
</header>
<script>
window.onscroll = function () {
resizeHeader()
}
function resizeHeader() {
if (document.body.scrollTop > 80 || document.documentElement.scrollTop > 80) {
document.querySelector(".main-header").classList.add("resized")
} else {
document.querySelector(".main-header").classList.remove("resized")
}
}
</script>
<div class="post-container">
<article class="post-1083 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-uncategorized">
<article>
<h3 class="title"><a href="index.html" title="Jared, Thy Name Is Vanity">Jared, Thy Name Is Vanity</a></h3>
<p class="post-info">
<span class="author">By&nbsp;Jared Dunn</span>
</p>
<div class="thumbnail">
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_505_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
<div class="content">
<p class="p1">
<p class="p1">Ive gone by many names throughout my life: Donald, Jared, Child #61728. But this week I earned myself a new one: the Dorian Gray of Silicon Valley. For I let my vanity make a monster of me.</p>
<p class="p1">It all started when I joined Richard for an interview on Bloomberg. Id only come for moral support, but then Emily Chang started asking me questions, and the interview went live, and all of a sudden I was being asked to do Adrian Greniers edutainment web series. I hadnt even planned to watch the Bloomberg interview, but Dinesh convinced me to review the footage to improve before my next appearance. He said it was for the good of the company! Little did I realize that to watch a YouTube clip of oneself on repeat is the digital equivalent of Narcissuss unwavering gaze into the water.</p>
<p class="p1">Such began my stumble into the depths of shallowness. Id never considered myself a superficial person before. I put care into my appearance, of course, but only as a gesture toward professionalism. (To show up in anything short of combed hair, pressed khakis, and a lint-free fleece vest is disrespectful.) And sure, Ive humbly accepted a few comparisons to movie star Anthony Perkins, but I always thought that was more about our shared love of birds than anything else. But now, before I knew it, I was fretting over my nose, demanding lip injections to distract from it. I thought they would have a subtle, bee-stung look, but there was more truth in that syringe than saline. My lips had grown as inflated as my new ego.</p>
<p class="p1">Even though the doctor told me the puffiness will subside after twenty-four hours, I think the effects on the computer education students at Paul Revere Middle School may last longer than that. How must they feel, knowing I chose Grenier over them? That I chased a shiny piece of Turkish delight instead of the home cooked meal of their company? Those kids depend on me to teach them about life in tech, to share stories of my past bullying, no matter how tangentially related to the days lesson. At least they got to meet Richard. The photos Id shown them in class could only do him so much justice.</p>
<p class="p1">Well, readers, its time to repair the damage our network suffered this week, ice my lips again, and look inward. Until next time!</p>
</div>
<footer>
</footer>
<div class="comment">
<div class="numcomments">
Comments (3)
</div>
<div id="respond" class="comment-respond">
<h3 id="reply-title" class="comment-reply-title"> <small><a rel="nofollow" id="cancel-comment-reply-link" href="index.html#respond" style="display:none;">Cancel reply</a></small></h3> <form action="http://astroport.com/wp/wp-comments-post.php" method="post" id="commentform" class="comment-form">
<p class="comment-notes"><span id="email-notes">Your email address will not be published.</span> Required fields are marked <span class="required">*</span></p><p class="comment-form-comment"><label for="comment">Comment</label> <textarea id="comment" name="comment" cols="45" rows="8" maxlength="65525" aria-required="true" required="required"></textarea></p><p class="comment-form-author"><label for="author">Name <span class="required">*</span></label> <input id="author" name="author" type="text" value="" size="30" maxlength="245" aria-required='true' required='required' /></p>
<p class="comment-form-email"><label for="email">Email <span class="required">*</span></label> <input id="email" name="email" type="text" value="" size="30" maxlength="100" aria-describedby="email-notes" aria-required='true' required='required' /></p>
<p class="comment-form-url"><label for="url">Website</label> <input id="url" name="url" type="text" value="" size="30" maxlength="200" /></p>
<div class="si_captcha_small"><img id="si_image_com" src="../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/securimage_show3bf9.png?si_sm_captcha=1&amp;si_form_id=com&amp;prefix=JivfAo3CUVLkZBzX" width="132" height="45" alt="CAPTCHA" title="CAPTCHA" />
<input id="si_code_com" name="si_code_com" type="hidden" value="JivfAo3CUVLkZBzX" />
<div id="si_refresh_com">
<a href="#" rel="nofollow" title="Refresh" onclick="si_captcha_refresh('si_image_com','com','/app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha','../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/securimage_show2c00.png?si_sm_captcha=1&amp;si_form_id=com&amp;prefix='); return false;">
<img class="si_captcha_refresh" src="../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/images/refresh.png" width="22" height="20" alt="Refresh" onclick="this.blur();" /></a>
</div>
</div>
<p id="si_captcha_code">
<input id="si_captcha_code" name="si_captcha_code" type="text" />
<label for="si_captcha_code" >CAPTCHA Code</label><span class="required">*</span>
</p>
<p class="form-submit"><input name="submit" type="submit" id="submit" class="submit" value="Post Comment" /> <input type='hidden' name='comment_post_ID' value='1083' id='comment_post_ID' />
<input type='hidden' name='comment_parent' id='comment_parent' value='0' />
</p> </form>
</div><!-- #respond -->
<section id="comments" class="comments">
<ol class="comment-list">
<li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="comment-368849">
<div id="div-comment-368849" class="comment-body">
<div class="comment-author vcard">
<img alt='' src='http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/cc98268e08c2cca680543276bdea274f?s=32&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g' srcset='http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/cc98268e08c2cca680543276bdea274f?s=64&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' /> <cite class="fn">Bill Jobs</cite> <span class="says">says:</span> </div>
<div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="index.html#comment-368849">
April 25, 2018 at 8:18 am</a> </div>
<p>woah dude</p>
<div class="reply"><a rel='nofollow' class='comment-reply-link' href='index0ca6.html?replytocom=368849#respond' onclick='return addComment.moveForm( "div-comment-368849", "368849", "respond", "1083" )' aria-label='Reply to Bill Jobs'>Reply</a></div>
</div>
</li><!-- #comment-## -->
<li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="comment-368841">
<div id="div-comment-368841" class="comment-body">
<div class="comment-author vcard">
<img alt='' src='http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/965dafbc0532320b145a9664b0c3bc40?s=32&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g' srcset='http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/965dafbc0532320b145a9664b0c3bc40?s=64&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' /> <cite class="fn">Ali</cite> <span class="says">says:</span> </div>
<div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="index.html#comment-368841">
April 25, 2018 at 4:58 am</a> </div>
<p>It&#8217;s okay. Everybody makes mistakes.</p>
<div class="reply"><a rel='nofollow' class='comment-reply-link' href='indexe6a7.html?replytocom=368841#respond' onclick='return addComment.moveForm( "div-comment-368841", "368841", "respond", "1083" )' aria-label='Reply to Ali'>Reply</a></div>
</div>
</li><!-- #comment-## -->
<li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="comment-368832">
<div id="div-comment-368832" class="comment-body">
<div class="comment-author vcard">
<img alt='' src='http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/144c1bfeefda6a536ff99593d7c035d6?s=32&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g' srcset='http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/144c1bfeefda6a536ff99593d7c035d6?s=64&amp;d=mm&amp;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-32 photo' height='32' width='32' /> <cite class="fn"><a href='http://www.dieseldesign.us/' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Alan Simeon</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span> </div>
<div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="index.html#comment-368832">
April 24, 2018 at 9:35 pm</a> </div>
<p>Jared, you are the most important piece to the Astroport puzzle. You bring everything together. Keep up the good work man!</p>
<div class="reply"><a rel='nofollow' class='comment-reply-link' href='indexab20.html?replytocom=368832#respond' onclick='return addComment.moveForm( "div-comment-368832", "368832", "respond", "1083" )' aria-label='Reply to Alan Simeon'>Reply</a></div>
</div>
</li><!-- #comment-## -->
</ol>
</section>
</div>
</article>
</div>
<script type='text/javascript' src='http://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/gsap/2.1.3/TweenMax.min.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/animations3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/device3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/ieFix3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
<script type='text/javascript' src='../wp/wp-includes/js/wp-embed.min3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/si_captcha5152.js?ver=1.0'></script>
<footer>
<div class="social-links-wrapper">
<div class="social-links">
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/SiliconHBO" target="_blank">
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_facebook.svg" class="social-link"/>
</a>
<a href="http://twitter.com/SiliconHBO" target="_blank">
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_twitter.svg" class="social-link"/>
</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/siliconhbo" target="_blank">
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_instagram.svg" class="social-link"/>
</a>
</div>
</div>
<div class="message">
The old Astroport “flute player” logo was referencing a fairytale character and in no way was meant to
suggest a
sexual act involving either the mouth or ear of the figure depicted. Apologies to any who were offended.
</div>
<div class="copyright">
<br>©2019 Home Box Office, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This website may contain mature content.<br>
<a href="https://www.hbo.com/privacy-policy" target="_blank">Privacy | </a>
<a href="https://www.hbo.com/terms-of-use" target="_blank">Terms</a>
</div>
</footer>
<!--Lines animations-->
<script>
(function () {
var imagesContainer;
var windowHeight;
var hasLinesBeenAnimated = false
tl = new TimelineMax()
function init() {
imagesContainer = document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never');
windowHeight = window.innerHeight;
}
function checkPosition() {
if (imagesContainer == null || imagesContainer === 'undefined') return
var positionFromTop = imagesContainer.getBoundingClientRect().top;
if (positionFromTop - windowHeight <= 0 && !hasLinesBeenAnimated) {
hasLinesBeenAnimated = true
if (window.innerWidth > 660) {
var linesTl = new TimelineMax({delay: 1.5})
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .lines'), 1, {height: 0})
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_identity'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.5')
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_data'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_privacy'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_thunder'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
} else {
var linesTl = new TimelineMax({delay: 1.5})
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_identity'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
})
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_data'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_privacy'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_thunder'), 0.5, {
opacity: 0,
scale: 0.6
}, '-=0.15')
}
}
}
window.addEventListener('scroll', checkPosition);
window.addEventListener('resize', init);
init();
checkPosition();
})();
</script>
</body>
<!-- Mirrored from astroport.com/jared-thy-name-is-vanity/ by HTTrack Website Copier/3.x [XR&CO'2014], Sat, 23 Nov 2019 17:51:43 GMT -->
</html>