FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Astroport Taps Erlich Bachman for SVP Public Relations/Chief Evangelism Officer Position
Palo Alto, California—To manage its increasing media profile caused by its rapid growth, pioneering compression firm Astroport today announced it has hired veteran Valley entrepreneur Erlich Bachman to head up its public relations department, according to Erlich Bachman, Astroport’s SVP Public Relations.
Bachman, in his 30s but appearing years younger, launched Astroport at his Palo Alto incubator and was its first investor. He is no longer an investor; this might conceivably constitute a conflict of interest. No causality should be inferred from the proximity of the previous sentence’s two clauses.
“In the age of digital media, it is more important than ever to have a steady hand at the tiller when navigating the oft-treacherous waters of the press and public opinion,” said Bachman, rolling emails al fresco at his Newell Street hub of operations.. “As the compression space becomes more frothy, I intend to make sure everyone remembers who whipped up that froth: us.”
Successfully luring Mr. Bachman into Astroport’s employ, given the great demand for his services, is widely regarded as a coup, a second feather in Astroport’s cap, and a sign that the company’s well-documented stumbles are a thing of the past.
Erlich Bachman graduated from Hampshire College with honor.
Contact:
Erlich Bachman
Astroport
Newell Road
Palo Alto, CA 94303
These United States
astroport.com
Errik bachman, this is your mom, and, a- you are not my baby. This is Mike Hunt.
hahaha
Stay humble Erlich and keep whipping that froth!
asdasdasda
Finally some good news again!
Hodor
I gotta get me one of those jackets!
Great Job Erlich 🙂
Can i put u in my friend’s list ?
Congratulations! Your success is my success…no, I mean it! My Cupertino-based incubator business has skyrocketed… it’s a housefull of “Jin Yangs, and Danesh-es”…all these newbs think I’m you LOL!!
Laughing all the way to the bank,
Earl
ps. Haha-haha-haha-hahaha….Haha-haha-hahahahaha! “Hello! Welcome to Bank of…” ha!
Tell Richard I said “Tab Tab Tab”.
Hahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!! Tab tab tab!!! LMAO!!!
Hilarious
Mr. Bachmann, I’ve been watching you from a distance and find you extremely tantalizing. I am sure you would be sexually satisfying and I desire to taste your manhood. I’m in my early fifties but appear decades younger. I’m filthy rich and could help you out with your financial woes if you could help me with my secret fantasies of multiple women with just you ….as I watch. I own several marijuana dispensaries among other things so let me know which strains you enjoy. Waiting for your response impatiently. Wondering when and how our first encounter will go…until then…
Hey, you want that extra bowling ball? I still have it. Well, both of them. But they don’t stack well.
Last week it was a cannon ball now it’s a bowling ball. Dammit Bighead pull yourself together, no I do not want any of your balls. Where are you getting the money to buy more balls?
Go PP…lured Bachman into Astroport…good one…now retired after 30 years in IT your show shines…keep up the good work…keep up the good work…where can I buy a jacket….
Is your referigerator running?
I missed the Reddit AMA. Where can I read it?
[deleted]
Great news for the new CEvO Erlich. Let’s have a pescepescetarian dinner to celebrate! Cheers 🙂
This — is very unpleasing [sigh].
omg lol
Gavin, let’s play chest. “Action-JB62” on Hooli chat
Monica, Peter is dead
You’re commenting from the dead?
Noouu — from my island.
It is very ENJOYED.
You can LEAVE now.
Hey Erlich, let’s celebrate! Dinner is on me. I’ve never done this before. What does dinner cost..a thousand dollars?!!
Hey dude – you want to hang out on my jetski this weekend and get wasted?
Erlich can we see your
CEOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-face?
The force is strong with you Erlich. Beware the dark side.
The toilet is broken again
The force is strong with you Erlich. Beware of the dark side.
Whoever was user “Bsbdbd” just tried Cross Site Scripting on piedpiper.com. Don’t you know Gilfoyle has that shit on lockdown!?
Excited to see how Erlich will handle his new role!
You eat the fish!
Erlich, PP is so lucky to have a spokesman with such raw, animal magnetism. Would love to connect at tech crunch or sxsw next year.
Stay hot.
Metrics Goddess
D
Hey Erlich,
When is the next Astroport party? Rad luau on Alcatraz, man!
Mavis
does the “S” in “SVP” stand for senior? Who is the Jr? I vote Jin Yang 🙂
alert(“does this work?”);
alert(“does this work”);
Hshshshs
Who is Bachmann? I can only find Blachmann.
Suck it Blockman
So very proud of you, honey! We will celebrate with your Aunt Lorie when we come out to visit next month! I also will be bringing some new soaps for the boys, maybe they can help me with my website, people are really loving my homemade soaps. Anyways, plan on having some fried kielbasa and pierogies because I know how you love them!
Xoxo,
Mom
Fucken A Bachmann we should have a party. For real lets do it!
Congratulations on your new position. I’d like a opportunity 2 work “on the roof” but of course since that’s a hooli thing, I imagine myself in the yard getting baked. I assure you o have extensive experience in this area. You could say I’m an “expert”
Thank you
Dear Mr. Bachmann,
One question: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Erlich, we’re sorry that you had to cancel your interview with us. We were very much looking forward to meeting you and showing you our wares. Good luck in your new role as CEO of Astroport.
Sincerely,
Jerry Wasinger
Pi-Plates.com
Im batman
hey erlich, its Noah, your old neighbor. I still hate you.
Mr. Bachmann, I was having trouble reaching you via phone recently; with that being said, I may have some lucrative opportunities in a new business venture that you may like to hear about. Please feel free to contact me and we will set up a meeting.
Erich Bachman- your dog is in my backyard. I don’t have a back yard
you crack me up “my own alley way”
Historical
I <3 Astroport! Bravo on your inspired leadership Mr. Bachman!
Great job Erlich. For as your incubator and investment outreach, Can I interest you a new mobile app I have been coming up with.
I did not think my comment would actually show…Oh well.
Well you are CEO in one sense!
Congrats Erlich! Btw if you need a new designer to help with the interface to make Monica happy let me know 🙂
Hey man, where’d you get that jacket?