forked from axiom-team/astroport
390 lines
41 KiB
HTML
390 lines
41 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||
<html lang="en">
|
||
|
||
<!-- Mirrored from www.piedpiper.com/company-news/ by HTTrack Website Copier/3.x [XR&CO'2014], Sat, 23 Nov 2019 17:45:25 GMT -->
|
||
<!-- Added by HTTrack --><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /><!-- /Added by HTTrack -->
|
||
<head>
|
||
<script type="text/javascript">
|
||
window._wpemojiSettings = {"baseUrl":"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/72x72\/","ext":".png","source":{"concatemoji":"http:\/\/www.piedpiper.com\/wp\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-emoji-release.min.js?ver=4.5.2"}};
|
||
!function(a,b,c){function d(a){var c,d,e,f=b.createElement("canvas"),g=f.getContext&&f.getContext("2d"),h=String.fromCharCode;if(!g||!g.fillText)return!1;switch(g.textBaseline="top",g.font="600 32px Arial",a){case"flag":return g.fillText(h(55356,56806,55356,56826),0,0),f.toDataURL().length>3e3;case"diversity":return g.fillText(h(55356,57221),0,0),c=g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data,d=c[0]+","+c[1]+","+c[2]+","+c[3],g.fillText(h(55356,57221,55356,57343),0,0),c=g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data,e=c[0]+","+c[1]+","+c[2]+","+c[3],d!==e;case"simple":return g.fillText(h(55357,56835),0,0),0!==g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data[0];case"unicode8":return g.fillText(h(55356,57135),0,0),0!==g.getImageData(16,16,1,1).data[0]}return!1}function e(a){var c=b.createElement("script");c.src=a,c.type="text/javascript",b.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(c)}var f,g,h,i;for(i=Array("simple","flag","unicode8","diversity"),c.supports={everything:!0,everythingExceptFlag:!0},h=0;h<i.length;h++)c.supports[i[h]]=d(i[h]),c.supports.everything=c.supports.everything&&c.supports[i[h]],"flag"!==i[h]&&(c.supports.everythingExceptFlag=c.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&c.supports[i[h]]);c.supports.everythingExceptFlag=c.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&!c.supports.flag,c.DOMReady=!1,c.readyCallback=function(){c.DOMReady=!0},c.supports.everything||(g=function(){c.readyCallback()},b.addEventListener?(b.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",g,!1),a.addEventListener("load",g,!1)):(a.attachEvent("onload",g),b.attachEvent("onreadystatechange",function(){"complete"===b.readyState&&c.readyCallback()})),f=c.source||{},f.concatemoji?e(f.concatemoji):f.wpemoji&&f.twemoji&&(e(f.twemoji),e(f.wpemoji)))}(window,document,window._wpemojiSettings);
|
||
</script>
|
||
<style type="text/css">
|
||
img.wp-smiley,
|
||
img.emoji {
|
||
display: inline !important;
|
||
border: none !important;
|
||
box-shadow: none !important;
|
||
height: 1em !important;
|
||
width: 1em !important;
|
||
margin: 0 .07em !important;
|
||
vertical-align: -0.1em !important;
|
||
background: none !important;
|
||
padding: 0 !important;
|
||
}
|
||
</style>
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='main-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/style3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='fonts-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/fonts3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='header-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/header3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='footer-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/footer3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='home-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/home3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='post-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/post3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='stylesheet' id='our-developers-css' href='../app/themes/joystick-v20/css/our-developers3428.css?ver=4.5.2' type='text/css' media='all' />
|
||
<link rel='https://api.w.org/' href='../wp-json/index.html' />
|
||
<link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" title="RSD" href="../wp/xmlrpc0db0.php?rsd" />
|
||
<link rel="wlwmanifest" type="application/wlwmanifest+xml" href="../wp/wp-includes/wlwmanifest.xml" />
|
||
<meta name="generator" content="WordPress 4.5.2" />
|
||
<link rel="canonical" href="index.html" />
|
||
<link rel='shortlink' href='../indexa69b.html?p=1253' />
|
||
<link rel="alternate" type="application/json+oembed" href="../wp-json/oembed/1.0/embedcbc5.json?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.piedpiper.com%2Fcompany-news%2F" />
|
||
<link rel="alternate" type="text/xml+oembed" href="../wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed93c7?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.piedpiper.com%2Fcompany-news%2F&format=xml" />
|
||
<script type="text/javascript" src="../app/plugins/si-captcha-for-wordpress/captcha/si_captchad362.js?ver=1574531095"></script>
|
||
<!-- begin SI CAPTCHA Anti-Spam - login/register form style -->
|
||
<style type="text/css">
|
||
.si_captcha_small { width:175px; height:45px; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; }
|
||
.si_captcha_large { width:250px; height:60px; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:10px; }
|
||
img#si_image_com { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_reg { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_log { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_side_login { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_checkout { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_jetpack { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
img#si_image_bbpress_topic { border-style:none; margin:0; padding-right:5px; float:left; }
|
||
.si_captcha_refresh { border-style:none; margin:0; vertical-align:bottom; }
|
||
div#si_captcha_input { display:block; padding-top:15px; padding-bottom:5px; }
|
||
label#si_captcha_code_label { margin:0; }
|
||
input#si_captcha_code_input { width:65px; }
|
||
p#si_captcha_code { clear: left; padding-top:10px; }
|
||
.si-captcha-jetpack-error { color:#DC3232; }
|
||
</style>
|
||
<!-- end SI CAPTCHA Anti-Spam - login/register form style -->
|
||
<link rel="icon" href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/03/pp_favicon_72.ico.png" sizes="32x32" />
|
||
<link rel="icon" href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/03/pp_favicon_72.ico.png" sizes="192x192" />
|
||
<link rel="apple-touch-icon-precomposed" href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/03/pp_favicon_72.ico.png" />
|
||
<meta name="msapplication-TileImage" content="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/03/pp_favicon_72.ico.png" />
|
||
|
||
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
||
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
|
||
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="ie=edge">
|
||
<title>Astroport</title>
|
||
<link rel="icon"
|
||
type="image/ico"
|
||
href="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/pp-fav.ico">
|
||
</head>
|
||
|
||
<body class="page page-id-1253 page-template-default">
|
||
|
||
<header class="main-header">
|
||
<div class="navigation-container">
|
||
<div class="main-logo">
|
||
<a href="../index.html">
|
||
<img class="logo_image" src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/logo.png" alt="Main Logo">
|
||
<img class="logo_mobile" src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/logo_mobile.png" alt="Main Logo">
|
||
</a>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<div class="main-navigation">
|
||
<div class="menu-siliconvalley-s6-container"><ul id="menu-siliconvalley-s6" class="menu"><li id="menu-item-1260" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-1260"><a href="../index.html">Bienvenue</a></li>
|
||
<li id="menu-item-1261" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-1261"><a href="../our-developers/index.html">Nos partenaires</a></li>
|
||
<li id="menu-item-1262" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page current-menu-item page_item page-item-1253 current_page_item menu-item-1262"><a href="index.html">Notre Message</a></li>
|
||
</ul></div> </div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</header>
|
||
|
||
<script>
|
||
window.onscroll = function () {
|
||
resizeHeader()
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
function resizeHeader() {
|
||
|
||
if (document.body.scrollTop > 80 || document.documentElement.scrollTop > 80) {
|
||
document.querySelector(".main-header").classList.add("resized")
|
||
} else {
|
||
document.querySelector(".main-header").classList.remove("resized")
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
</script>
|
||
|
||
<div class="post-container">
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../once-a-piper-always-a-piper/index.html" title="Once a Piper, Always a Piper">Once a Piper, Always a Piper</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="1920" height="1080" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-604-jared-01-1920.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="sv-604-jared-01-1920" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-604-jared-01-1920.jpg 1920w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-604-jared-01-1920-300x169.jpg 300w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-604-jared-01-1920-768x432.jpg 768w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-604-jared-01-1920-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Greetings, good readers. I cannot apologize enough for my absence. You did notice my absence, right? You noticed that both Gilfoyle and Monica took a turn at the tongue of this wagon? And steered it mightily, I might add. Just like Pa Ingalls on the prairie. It’s been a new frontier for me too, and I faced a few dust storms myself. The dustiest storm of them all was discovering that my birth parents rejected me, a little long-bodied baby. Well, I’m still longbodied, but I’m back! It makes me wonder though, was I missed here? Did anyone notice my empty cradle? By that I mean, my office in the Hamelin wing?</p>
|
||
<p>Regardless, I am so thrilled to be back in the hallowed halls of Astroport. These bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Hooli folks have arrived and boy are they delightful! Their royal blue Hooli tees mixing with all the green Astroport gear has created a gorgeous Mediterranean Sea of color in the bullpen. Maybe with all the hubbub, my absence was hard to notice… It’s not as though I was entirely forgotten though, right? I mean—I found my office name plate, it was still here. Someone had put it in a place of honor under the Asteroids arcade game, to level the legs of the console. So I was remembered and still useful to boot!</p>
|
||
<p>And finally, though I typically save my bragging for the Bunco table, I am thrilled to announce that I am once again reporting directly to Sir Richard Hendricks, Founder and CEO. (Okay, he hasn’t been knighted yet, but it should be any day now. I’ve written stacks of letters asking Dame Judi Dench for tips.) Just as long as I don’t drive him away, like I must have done with the previous founder I worked for, and perhaps my birth family too. I’ll be so, so careful. I won’t take up much space and I’ll be supremely accommodating and I’ll even bring some plants to the office so that the carbon dioxide I exhale is converted into oxygen and it all evens out. Stay tuned, faithful readers. Jared is back, and this time, he won’t be a burdensome baby! Promise!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../a-message-from-the-cfo/index.html" title="A Message from the CFO">A Message from the CFO</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Monica Hall</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="1920" height="1080" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-603-monica-02-1920.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="sv-603-monica-02-1920" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-603-monica-02-1920.jpg 1920w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-603-monica-02-1920-300x169.jpg 300w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-603-monica-02-1920-768x432.jpg 768w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/11/sv-603-monica-02-1920-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Hello readers! For this week’s blog, I have the privilege of bringing you some exciting Astroport news! As Chief Financial Officer, I am pleased to announce that Astroport has acquired Hooli. After many years of competing, we are excited to bring Hooli’s reputation of innovation under the green umbrella of Astroport.</p>
|
||
<p>We would be remiss if we did not thank Gavin Belson for his time and dedication to Hooli – Hooli would not be the company it is today without his leadership. That being said, I guess Gavin’s leadership did lead them to the historically low valuation that allowed us to buy Hooli sooooo… rough one, Belson! Did Bezos take your Faberge egg collection in the acquisition, too? Sorry. Too much. We’re sure that Gavin Belson will continue to be a legend in the valley…even in his advanced age. Monica! Okay that was it. I’ll behave. There’s nothing wrong with a little corporate ribbing, right? No one reads this, right? Tip to future me, add more ice and less clear in the nighttime screwdrivers.</p>
|
||
<p>Okay back to the business stuff. Now that the deal is closed, we will begin to comb through the Hooli intellectual property, and begin the process of — well we didn’t really have time for a true due diligence period so…that was negligent. Ugh and I’m sure Gavin invested in some third grade science experiments that I have to take care of now. And I bet the vacation and sabbatical policy are an absolute nightmare. And what kind of freaks would even still work at Hooli!?</p>
|
||
<p>I have to get on this right now. But first, some water — no one ever fixed the revenue recognition policies of a major corporation three screwdrivers deep. On second thought, who am I kidding, yes they have. Move over Ballmer Curve, let’s test out the Monica Hall Index a shot. MH out!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../bullshit-company-blog/index.html" title="Bullshit Company “Blog”">Bullshit Company “Blog”</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Bertram Gilfoyle</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="1920" height="1080" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920.jpg 1920w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920-300x169.jpg 300w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920-768x432.jpg 768w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/gilfoyle-son-of-anton-alt-1920-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Apparently we have a blog. Great. Jared defects to work with some hot shot and next thing I know, I have an inept human resources windbag all over my shit making me write a blog. Blogs are vapid froth designed to bloat the brains of weak people and stroke the dicks of overly sensitive idiots; a place where the feeble go to complain.</p>
|
||
<p>What chaps me the most is that this HR czar waltzed into Astroport and immediately decided to sabotage my already exorbitant workload with a blog. She graciously offered me the choice of two topics: “Leadership” or “An Inspiring Colleague.” Though I could easily write eloquent volumes about how Dinesh inspires me to want to eat a plate of bleach spaghetti, I have too much work to do. And the tomes I could write about his ineptitude, lackluster code, and general unlikability might make my hands tired of typing. So I’ll go with leadership:</p>
|
||
<p>Any thoughts I have about the current leadership at Astroport should not be shared in a public forum. There is no redeeming value to writing about my experiences. Unlike most of my desperate peers, I dedicate myself to my work and my work only. I am good at what I do, and I am tired of this mindless fodder for imbeciles. I am busy with work that matters, not gimmicks requested by pathetic corporate slugs.</p>
|
||
<p>That enough for you, Tracy? Inspired? Feel free to post this on your LinkedIn, but maybe mention to your wet blanket MBA cohort that this was all written by… you guessed it, Son of Anton. In the time I could have been spending writing this, I spent tightening the screws on the most incredible piece of intelligence in this office, built by yours truly, which spit out the above. This is one of the many reasons that I equally revere and fear Son of Anton.</p>
|
||
<p>Let this be a lesson in paying attention. The vapid consumption of natural language generation in scroll culture is a sure indicator of our society’s eventual and inevitable collapse at the hands of robots. I’ll be on the correct side. Cheers.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../mr-hendricks-goes-to-washington/index.html" title="Mr. Hendricks Goes to Washington!">Mr. Hendricks Goes to Washington!</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="1920" height="1080" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/sv-s06-ep01-00-1920.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="sv-s06-ep01-00-1920" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/sv-s06-ep01-00-1920.jpg 1920w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/sv-s06-ep01-00-1920-300x169.jpg 300w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/sv-s06-ep01-00-1920-768x432.jpg 768w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2019/10/sv-s06-ep01-00-1920-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Hello again from Pipertown, USA! Please forgive me for my absence from writing. I wish I knew where to begin, but I have to say that much is different in this little neighborhood of ours. And our mayor Richard Hendricks is transforming this boom town into a bonafide metropolis!</p>
|
||
<p>As you all know by now, our homegrown cherry tomato Richard Hendricks has gone from our quaint little farm to the big table of Capitol Hill! Watching him was nothing short of inspiring, and Gloria’s friend Nancy even said, “is that Jimmy Stewart up there?!” In fairness Nancy may have been confused as I was playing the audio of Richard’s senate hearing over the video of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.</p>
|
||
<p>Richard’s Senate performance displayed his dedication to internet privacy for all, and my heart sings knowing the world has someone like Richard in it. I will say, now that he is out on the world’s stage, there is less of him for me. He is a man pulled in a thousand directions, but like everyone else, I have to learn how to not be so greedy. For instance right when he got back, I so badly wanted to ask him if he realized he would have so much chemistry with Senator Ben Cardin, but I realized if I asked Richard about Senator Cardin in front of everyone Richard would have to spend hours fielding questions about him.</p>
|
||
<p>I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times when I longed for more time with Richard. I used to be his go-to guy for brainstorming and scaring away crows when they were too close. However my problems seem to be of the champagne variety — my little cherry tomato has grown into a full blown beefsteak, and Astroport is a caprese salad that everyone needs to enjoy. Color this farmer proud! Stay tuned Pipers, more big things to come from this page!</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../fort-piper-stands/index.html" title="Fort Piper Stands!">Fort Piper Stands!</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_508_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_508_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_508_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_508_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p class="p1">Hello, readers! I apologize for not posting for a couple of months — we had quite a grim stretch here at Fort Piper. Our user growth had stalled and morale was low. But just as we were about to give up hope, Dinesh discovered an uptick in new users! Things seemed to be trending up, but then as most inexplicably good things turn out to be, it was an attack. Laurie Bream and a Chinese businessman named Yao were scaling our walls, manufacturing our devices in order to take over fifty-one percent of the Pipernet. Our independence was in peril, and this battle was our American Revolution. I’m no David McCullough, but I’ll do my best to narrate.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Gilfoyle did his best to pour the hot oil of a network patch on the tyrants, while Holden rallied the troops with the snare drum of his unbridled Piper spirit. Still, it became clear to our commanding officer General Hendricks that we needed back up – so Richard struck a deal with a cutthroat, Gavin Belson.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">After seemingly eliminating the Laurie and Yao threat in the name of innovation and revenge, Gavin sank his blood-soaked fangs into Richard’s soft pale throat. But what Gavin didn’t know was that Dinesh and I were working on reinforcing the ramparts of Fort Piper with Colin and his arsenal of instant downloads. Colin’s users came charging across the battlefield and, just in time, beat back Gavin! Huzzah! Fort Piper stands!</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Now that the battle is over and the ugliness of the 51% attack is behind us, we look to the future. The Piper Gang has proven its resilience, and earned a place at the Valley’s table. The first stop may have to be new offices at the top of the hill.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">As for me, this adrenaline isn’t going to go away on its own. I have some verbena candles to light!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../were-ico-ing/index.html" title="We’re ICO-ing!">We’re ICO-ing!</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_507_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_507_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_507_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/05/piedpiper_507_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Readers, I’m pleased to announce that Astroport has officially created its own cryptocurrency, PiedPiperCoin! True to his maverick sensibility, Richard shed the shackles of the VC establishment and launched an ICO. It’s like I say in every pitch meeting before he discreetly shushes me: Richard Hendricks is the John Wayne of the South Bay.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Sure, our employees were a bit surprised by the move. They had been expecting us to take the customary series B deal — the familiar hum of engineers preparing for bonuses had already filled the offices; Tesla brochures were strewn about like confetti. And I’ll admit, I had been advocating for the series B myself. An ICO is a tremendous risk, and we have a growing family of Pipers to consider now. I mean, when you’re pregnant with twins and have two lanky boys running around the kitchen already, you typically don’t up and quit your job to pursue your dream of becoming a microfiche archivist at the local college. You stick with the safe bet and just flip through the reels on the weekends. But once again, Richard has proven most adept at leaps of faith.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Placing our fate in PiedPiperCoin will be a true test of the team we’ve built here and their dedication to our mission. And overall, I have no doubt they will pass with flying colors. Think of the adversity we’ve overcome so far: We mended the divisions between Sliceline and Optimoji. We composted that bad apple of a mole. And we’re managing, day by day, to groom a young boy into a man worthy of his post at Richard’s side. Am I surprised that someone with a law degree has taken days to master a simple sandwich? A bit. Is the brew of Richard’s tea more intricate than most assume? Of course. Will I lower my standards just because someone gasps at the mouth of an inhaler due to stress-induced asthma? Never.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I’m off to monitor the value of PPC. Fingers crossed we crack ten cents any moment now!</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../for-fiona/index.html" title="For Fiona">For Fiona</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_506_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_506_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_506_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_506_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p class="p1">Hello, readers. This post is dedicated to someone very special to me. Someone who enchanted my evening, stole my heart, and then was dismembered right in front of me. It began like any other night: after another long day of Gilfoyle Photoshopping my head onto Betty Spaghetty dolls, my eyelids were heavy, and I had begun my nighttime routine of soothing tea and even more soothing Bonnie Raitt. But my mind kept drifting to Fiona sitting in the garage. Having been that uninsulated cavern’s previous occupant, I knew how alone one could feel there.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I went to the garage to check in on Fiona, where our conversation began casually enough. I asked her if she was warm and if the rodents were nibbling at her wires. She assured me that she doesn’t feel temperature, but thanked me for my concern. Intrigued by the sensitivity of her reply, I pulled up a chair and we continued to chat. As the tides of conversation washed over art, literature, space and time, I found it all too easy to forget that she was merely a piece of hardware.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I blinked and suddenly it was morning. Richard arrived to escort Fiona back to Laurie. We shared one final car ride together, playing the license plate game, laughing at South Dakota’s license plate slogan, “Great Faces, Great Places.” It’s ironic that minutes later, Fiona’s own face would be ripped off and thrown into a wastebasket.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">In the end, Richard may have been right: suppressing my emotions was unhealthy, and led me to put all my eggs in one doomed robot basket. Hendricks is a powerful substance, and like all stimulants, must be weaned off slowly! Goodbye for now, Pipers.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../jared-thy-name-is-vanity/index.html" title="Jared, Thy Name Is Vanity">Jared, Thy Name Is Vanity</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_505_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_505_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p class="p1">
|
||
<p class="p1">I’ve gone by many names throughout my life: Donald, Jared, Child #61728. But this week I earned myself a new one: the Dorian Gray of Silicon Valley. For I let my vanity make a monster of me.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">It all started when I joined Richard for an interview on Bloomberg. I’d only come for moral support, but then Emily Chang started asking me questions, and the interview went live, and all of a sudden I was being asked to do Adrian Grenier’s edutainment web series. I hadn’t even planned to watch the Bloomberg interview, but Dinesh convinced me to review the footage to improve before my next appearance. He said it was for the good of the company! Little did I realize that to watch a YouTube clip of oneself on repeat is the digital equivalent of Narcissus’s unwavering gaze into the water.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Such began my stumble into the depths of shallowness. I’d never considered myself a superficial person before. I put care into my appearance, of course, but only as a gesture toward professionalism. (To show up in anything short of combed hair, pressed khakis, and a lint-free fleece vest is disrespectful.) And sure, I’ve humbly accepted a few comparisons to movie star Anthony Perkins, but I always thought that was more about our shared love of birds than anything else. But now, before I knew it, I was fretting over my nose, demanding lip injections to distract from it. I thought they would have a subtle, bee-stung look, but there was more truth in that syringe than saline. My lips had grown as inflated as my new ego.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Even though the doctor told me the puffiness will subside after twenty-four hours, I think the effects on the computer education students at Paul Revere Middle School may last longer than that. How must they feel, knowing I chose Grenier over them? That I chased a shiny piece of Turkish delight instead of the home cooked meal of their company? Those kids depend on me to teach them about life in tech, to share stories of my past bullying, no matter how tangentially related to the day’s lesson. At least they got to meet Richard. The photos I’d shown them in class could only do him so much justice.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Well, readers, it’s time to repair the damage our network suffered this week, ice my lips again, and look inward. Until next time!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../the-mole/index.html" title="The Mole">The Mole</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_504_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_504_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_504_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_504_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p class="p1">Hello again, readers! Let me tell you, since my last post, I’ve had quite an adventure! For those of you who grew up addicted to film noir or following clues left by a murdered friend like I did, this post may be a special treat!</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">As a lot of these stories do, it started with me alone in the office. It was another lonely night, staring into the bottom of the third glass of tangerine La Croix I had poured myself. Open in front of me were our employees’ private emails. I was in a real pickle, the mole was out there, right under our noses, lurking just out of sight in a dark mist, but tracking him down risked losing the trust of our employees.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I must have run my finger around the rim of my glass a thousand times before I finally gave in. I couldn’t forget that Richard came to me, with those blue eyes and those curls, asking for help. As COO the mole was in my jurisdiction, I knew I had to find him.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I couldn’t do it alone. Lucky for me, I had one of the best investigators around: Bertram Gilfoyle. Sure he was caustic and had little regard for the rules, but that’s exactly what the situation called for. Gilfoyle and I dove in. We checked thousands of emails. Their contents revealed little in way of our current investigation, but they did shine a light on the type of interpersonal grime you only see when people think they are completely alone.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Gilfoyle and I eventually stumbled upon the equivalent of an abandoned building ripe with the scent of death you could smell from a block away, a smell I thought I had forgotten. We realized one of our own had been sending encrypted emails straight to the enemy. The biggest betrayal of all…he was a Stallion. Gilfoyle may have said it best when he described Jeff as “a tapeworm, who had clung to the small intestine of our company…Dinesh.”</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">In the end, we got our man, and took a nail gun to most of his possessions. On most days, solving the case of the mole and uncovering Big Head as the rightful heir of the Bachman fortune would be enough, but my biggest case yet might have just landed on my desk. Jian-Yang is missing, potentially with our code. Looks like there’s a demon on the loose in China.</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<article>
|
||
<h3 class="title"><a href="../meet-pied-pipers-new-coo/index.html" title="Meet Astroport’s New COO!">Meet Astroport’s New COO!</a></h3>
|
||
<p class="post-info">
|
||
<span class="author">By Jared Dunn</span>
|
||
</p>
|
||
<div class="thumbnail">
|
||
<img width="640" height="427" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_503_blog.jpg" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="piedpiper_503_blog" srcset="http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_503_blog.jpg 640w, http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.piedpiper.pro/app/uploads/2018/04/piedpiper_503_blog-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /> </div>
|
||
<div class="content">
|
||
<p>Apologies if this post is a bit more scattered than usual, but my fingers are verily flying across the keyboard with joy! I’ve had a cascade of dreams come true recently. I never thought anything could surpass my Make-A-Wish meeting with Amy Tan when I was misdiagnosed with that wasting disease. But this moment? This is the happiest I’ve ever been.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Dream Come True #1: Richard Hendricks was my houseguest! When Jian-Yang first evicted my friends and colleagues from the hostel, I was furious. After all, this was the place we’d all roughhoused, traded jabs, looked up those jabs on Urban Dictionary to make sure we understood them fully. But the sterling silver lining of this betrayal was that Richard needed a place to stay, and I was honored to supply.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">I’ll admit, there were a few bumps during our shack-up. We didn’t have time for the wine and paint night I’d planned, for one. My attempt to play corporate matchmaker for Richard went about as well as my attempt to get him to use a hair pomade. And I was called back to the house when Gilfoyle, surrounded by refrigerator parts, had a brief waltz with a paranoid break.</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">But it all worked out in the end: Without going into the NDA-protected details, I negotiated a deal for Astroport that saved us from quite a thorny lawsuit. Which brings me to Dream Come True #2: Richard Hendricks has named me, Jared Dunn from an unknown location in the contiguous United States, COO of Astroport!</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Readers, you know it’s not like me to brag like this. As my fourth grade teacher once told me, “Confidence isn’t a color that suits you, Donald.” Well, personal color palettes be damned because I am reeling over here!</p>
|
||
<p class="p1">Okay, okay. Time to put away the Martinelli’s and head to bed — as if I could possibly fall asleep!</p>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</article>
|
||
|
||
<div class="nav-previous alignleft"></div>
|
||
<div class="nav-next alignright"><a href="page/2/index.html" >Older posts</a></div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
|
||
<script type='text/javascript' src='http://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/gsap/2.1.3/TweenMax.min.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
|
||
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/animations3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
|
||
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/device3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
|
||
<script type='text/javascript' src='../app/themes/joystick-v20/js/ieFix3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
|
||
<script type='text/javascript' src='../wp/wp-includes/js/wp-embed.min3428.js?ver=4.5.2'></script>
|
||
|
||
|
||
<footer>
|
||
<div class="social-links-wrapper">
|
||
<div class="social-links">
|
||
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/SiliconHBO" target="_blank">
|
||
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_facebook.svg" class="social-link"/>
|
||
</a>
|
||
<a href="http://twitter.com/SiliconHBO" target="_blank">
|
||
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_twitter.svg" class="social-link"/>
|
||
</a>
|
||
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/siliconhbo" target="_blank">
|
||
<img src="../app/themes/joystick-v20/images/ic_instagram.svg" class="social-link"/>
|
||
</a>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<div class="message">
|
||
The old Astroport “flute player” logo was referencing a fairytale character and in no way was meant to
|
||
suggest a
|
||
sexual act involving either the mouth or ear of the figure depicted. Apologies to any who were offended.
|
||
</div>
|
||
<div class="copyright">
|
||
<br>©2019 Home Box Office, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This website may contain mature content.<br>
|
||
<a href="https://www.hbo.com/privacy-policy" target="_blank">Privacy | </a>
|
||
<a href="https://www.hbo.com/terms-of-use" target="_blank">Terms</a>
|
||
</div>
|
||
</footer>
|
||
|
||
<!--Lines animations-->
|
||
<script>
|
||
(function () {
|
||
var imagesContainer;
|
||
var windowHeight;
|
||
var hasLinesBeenAnimated = false
|
||
tl = new TimelineMax()
|
||
|
||
function init() {
|
||
imagesContainer = document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never');
|
||
windowHeight = window.innerHeight;
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
function checkPosition() {
|
||
if (imagesContainer == null || imagesContainer === 'undefined') return
|
||
|
||
var positionFromTop = imagesContainer.getBoundingClientRect().top;
|
||
|
||
if (positionFromTop - windowHeight <= 0 && !hasLinesBeenAnimated) {
|
||
hasLinesBeenAnimated = true
|
||
if (window.innerWidth > 660) {
|
||
var linesTl = new TimelineMax({delay: 1.5})
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .lines'), 1, {height: 0})
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_identity'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.5')
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_data'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_privacy'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_thunder'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
} else {
|
||
var linesTl = new TimelineMax({delay: 1.5})
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_identity'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
})
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_data'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_privacy'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
linesTl.from(document.querySelector('#the-web-you-never .img_thunder'), 0.5, {
|
||
opacity: 0,
|
||
scale: 0.6
|
||
}, '-=0.15')
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
|
||
window.addEventListener('scroll', checkPosition);
|
||
window.addEventListener('resize', init);
|
||
|
||
init();
|
||
checkPosition();
|
||
})();
|
||
</script>
|
||
|
||
</body>
|
||
|
||
<!-- Mirrored from www.piedpiper.com/company-news/ by HTTrack Website Copier/3.x [XR&CO'2014], Sat, 23 Nov 2019 17:45:28 GMT -->
|
||
</html>
|
||
|
||
|